Sillier still

The capitalists swept into office, and the Chico Silly Council is about to be sillier than ever. The exploiters must be licking their lips.

I bet we’re gonna see higher parking rates, and then they’ll find a way to build another parking structure and eliminate the Green Line and screw the Farmers’ Market and raise the height restriction and turn us into Reno. Watch and see.

First, we’ll be lucky if we don’t end up with a permanent swat team downtown to find parking for Zucchini & Vine’s suckers. There’ll be no sitting except at new metered benches. For a quarter you can sit for fifteen minutes, then steel bands will pop out and hold you until another quarter is inserted in the slot, which you now can’t reach.

We’ll no doubt get more cops, and I bet they won’t be professional social workers—which they totally should be—and will instead be poorly trained and ill-suited to dealing with people in extremis. They may also be privately paid for and directed.

I’m don’t expect transparency in city government, although we deserve it. I’d like to see all of the council’s expenses online every month. That’s not hard to do. I also want to know where the council members live, not their addresses, although that ought to be public information and probably is. I just want to know in what part of town they live. Does any council member live in Chapmantown? In Barber? Downtown? Why is that?

As staunch capitalists, the Silly Council majority is bound to look for ways to get other capitalists to bring holy capital to Chico, where the Silly Council members can at least smell it. There’ll be tax incentives all over the place. The deals are in the air.

Poor people are gonna have to suck it, as always, because most of the Silly Council don’t know from poor and don’t care. The way Sean Morgan feels about feeding the hungry—and perhaps the other extremes of Jesus of Nazareth—the homeless are in for a hard winter in these parts. A fresh crop of ordinances is just around the corner. Do not sit down. Do not dare to lie down. Don’t eat, either. Maybe we could hire the homeless to police the homeless. They’d probably work cheap, and capitalists like that.

I support paying poor people— obviously the only people who’d want such work—to clean the streets, with brooms and carts like the old days. That nerve-racking din from the ugly white behemoth that cleans our streets now would go away. People cleaning would be quiet, or we’d fire them, and wouldn’t pollute nearly like a street-cleaning truck does. Some of those people on the streets anyway could make themselves useful and make a buck at the same time.

As much as anything the Council might even consider, I want city employees’ salaries printed on their uniforms or i.d. badges. There’s no good reason not to.

2 comments

  1. This tickled me, so I thought I’d look. Based on what I could find on whitepages.com, here’s where they are: http://i.imgur.com/McobxmV.png

    Every single one of them are north of Big Chico Creek. I’d wonder if it’d be worth proposing council districts. They wouldn’t approve it, of course, but it’d be interesting to see how much redder Sorensen’s face would get.

  2. so true, anthony. those noise machines have
    to STOP NOW! quiet cleaning i love to do.

Leave a Reply