Nice guy

You’ve probably seen me around the neighborhood. I’m a nice guy. Ask anybody reputable. I have a lot of money, and if you’ve got some money I will take it from you if I can. I will buy some of your people and give your adolescent males weapons, and whoever’s left will give me money, believe me. Is this your wallet?

If I need your money, then you keeping it is contrary to my interest. If I need your money, I’ll have my brave goons kill you, because I have a right to defend my interests everywhere, including your living room, and my interests are whatever I say they are. Remember that. Nice furniture.

That’s if I want only your money. If I want your land, or something I think is in your land, you’ll have to move. Nice yard you got there. Love the lavender.

By the way, you may have heard that just because I didn’t like the way that man over there did things, I blockaded his whole lot, garage, chicken coop, and everything—no food, no mail, no garbage pick-up, no nothing, and they could all just die. That’s true.

My people seldom leave. Most of them know only what I tell them, so there they stay, in straight lines. Variations are against the rules, and rule breaking is good for the punishment people, so it’s win-win. Criminal justice—great branding.

A guy out by the airport had the lushest lemon trees around, and mine didn’t get through that last frost, so I pretended he had threatened me, and I sent 100 goons to secure his trees, like something might happen to them otherwise, and goons just happen to be outrageously expensive and terrific for the economy. Win-win! The trees are fine, and my courageous goons killed the guy who used to live there. They also blew up the garage and ripped out the wiring and peed in all the rooms. Now my people get to clean up on the clean-up, so win-win again. Your place is very tidy. That’s okay, too.

I have intrepid goons stationed around the neighborhood, and now I see that having more would enhance my sense of security, and I am scared to death of absolutely everything on your behalf. Ah, what the hell, more goons can only help. I feel better already. This is such a nice neighborhood, so safe. I’m the neighborhood watch, too.

One comment so far

  1. Phil Montaleone says:

    APP, Your April 15th “Nice Guy” TOLD IT LIKE IT IS definitely! You Rock! Thank God there are still writers out there who’ll tell the truth and who understand the truth of what’s really happening in this society. The goons are the controllers, the nice guys who only remain “nice” when you are keeping them happy and pleased . . . “their way or the highway” . . . kings gleaning the energies from paupers . . . government not enforcing the good laws which would protect the rights of the poor to health, safety, life, happiness, and well-being. . . . This way the poor die quicker, yet usually over a bit of time so as not to draw attention to the obvious reduction of the poor population. Enough is Enough! Hey folks WE have to make a better way to live in our neighborhoods! The goons aren’t going to do it. Thank God you’re the neighborhood watch Anthony! We need an honest man with intelligence, awareness, and a back bone who cares about us. Rock on!

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